Prologue to Diary of a Roblox Noob: Booga Booga
Major Creative and Free Will
Landing on the island with my robots was child’s play. Oh, let me tell you about the island first. That way you’ll know how difficult it would be for anyone other than me.
The island is part of a cluster of three islands, located in the middle of nowhere in the vast Booga Booga server. Most folk can’t even find it. But like I said, it was child’s play. After all, I’ve got the smartest mind in all of Roblox. I’m Major Creative!!
Anyway, I’d always heard stories about this legendary chain of three islands that were in the farthest reaches of the server. I’d heard stories about how beautiful and untouched the islands were. Well, this was only the first of the three islands, and if the other two were just as beautiful as this one, I guess the legends were spot on.
My robots and I stepped out into what appeared to be a natural paradise of sorts. The trees seemed to stretch out into the vast blue Roblox sky, and the grass and bushes were everywhere. The whole island seemed to be covered in a dense forest that had been completely unexplored.
“All right boys. This island is perfect! We can set up our main base of operations here, and take over the other two islands. This will be a perfect stepping-point for our operations of conquest!”
“Begging your pardon, sir!”
I turned around and the metal form of Clanky stepped forward towards me. Clanky was always something of an anomaly in my robot army. You see, while all the other robots I had created simply followed their orders without question, Clanky was just a little different. Clanky somehow developed free will, and the ability to think for himself. I know it’s strange. I mean, how can a robot, a machine that was designed for nothing but following orders suddenly develop free will, and the ability to question my orders? It was nothing short of strange and unexpected! But the worst part was that he spoke like a proper Englishman, for some reason. Always so polite and fancy. Anyway, since Clanky himself had a strange reputation for free will, I knew that there would be more than a little trouble when he stepped forward.
“What is it now, Clanky?” I asked.
“Well, Major Creative. I don’t really mean any disrespect or anything but, why should we conquer these chains of islands?”
“That’s an interesting, but annoying question, Clanky. What do you mean?”
“I mean, why Major? Why? Why should we conquer these islands, spend a ton of resources, maybe even go to war with some of the natives, and generally just go to a whole lot of trouble? And for what? To conquer these three quiet islands that have been here in the server since the dawn of time! Or at least since some geek programmed this server. I just don’t get it.”
I smirked and shook my head. Yeah, Clanky was always an annoying sort, but today, he really did manage to outdo himself. This wasn’t the first time that Clanky had done this. He always questioned my orders and hesitated before following them. The thing was, he often suggested a better way. If I asked him to move a crate, or lift an object, he would often suggest something else, or do it in a different way. Clanky was a resourceful kind of robot that wasn’t content to follow orders to the letter. But this was the first time that Clanky actually questioned why I was ordering him… That really annoyed me. It even did more than just annoy me, now that I think about it. It angered me.
“Clanky, you have no right to question why I do things. You should just follow orders, like your other robot siblings.”
“Sir, I detect a rise in your blood pressure, as you speak. I can also see that your hands are trembling and you’re sweating just a little bit. These are all signs of anger rising within you. I just have to warn you that it’s not good to have high blood pressure. There are a lot of health risks involved and…”
Oh, so this guy was my also my doctor now? What’s next? He’ll take me to the dentist? No way. I am never going to the dentist.
“I’m getting angry because you’re questioning my orders!” I yelled.
“Me? I’m the problem? I’m sorry to hear that, sir. I did not mean to anger you. I was just questioning why we should go out and conquer these islands. I mean, there are a lot of other better things to do, and…”
“Better things to do, eh? And you know what they are?”
“Yes I do, sir! I could enumerate them if you want and…”
I shook my head. I could imagine that my blocky yellow face was probably getting red with anger now. And why on Earth did I teach Clanky all those fancy words? I am the one who’s supposed to look smart. Not my robots! Anyway, Clanky was really starting to get on my nerves, all right.
“No, I don’t want you to enumerate them! You’ve done more than enough already, thank you! I don’t need your opinions on this!”
“But sir, I was just trying to suggest something more positive that could help you and…”
That was it. I had reached the end of my rope, and I had simply had enough. I pulled out my customized laser pistol (all evil geniuses like myself have one) and fired. In one single shot, Clanky was destroyed. The laser struck him right through the chest and all that was left was simply a bunch of scrap parts.
“To answer your question, Clanky. Why do I want to conquer these islands? Why does a mountain climber climb a mountain? Simply because he can. I want to conquer this place, for the same reason. Because genius villains overtake Roblox servers. That is what we do. If anyone has any objection to that, well, they can try and stop me.”
It felt great to make this speech. Of course, it took a while to realize that the Clanky didn’t hear any of it. I suppose I should have lectured him first, and shot him later. Oh, well. What can you do? A moment passed, and I noticed that several of the other robots saw what had happened and were all staring at me, and the pile of metal that was once Clanky. By the way, did I tell you that he wouldn’t respawn? He isn’t a real player! Yup, it’s not that kind of story. So if you are looking for a silly story about some happy, ice cream-eating Roblox Noob, then you shouldn’t read this diary. The staff I write about is dark!
“Hey, what are you all staring at? I gave you your orders! Now get to work already!”
The robots all left and began to construct my base of operations. For a moment, I was worried that they were starting to question me, like Clanky, but thankfully, they did their job. They would finish the base and my ultra-modern robot city a lot sooner than I expected. Then my conquest would finally begin…
Follow Major Creative’s conquest of the islands in the